You think you’ve seen everything and then our media makes another barmy suggestion on Ibrox’s behalf, and this might be the best one I’ve read in a long time.
Some of the hacks are pushing a “stunning double swoop” for them in January; the return of the Prodigal Sons, Alfredo “Mad Dog” Morelos and Ryan “Trailer Park Serial Killer” Kent.
You have to laugh, don’t you?
You have to treat it like the comedic idea that it is. Bad enough that their club is talking about giving contract extensions to Ryan Jack and John Lundstrum this summer; I love the suggestion that they might bring the rest of The Losers Club together again for one last crack at the title.
A few things have escaped their notice.
The first is that these guys chose to leave, on free transfers, so that the club didn’t even get a penny for them. Do guys like that deserve a return? Have they shown the appropriate loyalty to the club which justifies resurrecting their careers?
The second is this; haven’t their fans considered the reason both are available?
For years we said that those were two of the most over-rated players in the history of Scottish football whilst they lamented the loss of two icons of the stands.
Who was proved right and who was proved wrong?
Both players have been massive flops at their new clubs. Neither has come close to cutting it. Santos has cut Morelos loose because they’ve just been relegated but they’ve done it without regrets because he was meant to score the goals which kept their once proud club up. But he didn’t. In fact, he barely featured at all for them, having taken months to even get himself into shape enough to play.
Kent has been just as big a disappointment, a complete flop outside of a league where players let him flit about the pitch and stand off from tackling him hard.
There is a similar player at Ibrox right now in The Boy Band Wannabe, and when clubs start putting proper pressure on him it won’t be long before he considers 30 minutes of game-time a win.
You know what? I’m laughing at this because it’s frankly barmy, but if I had my way I’d make both of these deals happen. It would be a ridiculous response to whatever we do, based on desperation and lack of funds, although I doubt either would come cheap.
It would also make an absolute mockery of their hiring the Belgian talent spotter. If he hasn’t arrived at Ibrox with at least a partial list of realistic targets I’ll be amazed, and we’d know what the answer to that question was if they went out and did this.
Honestly, Celtic fans would have no time to be afraid if they did this. We’d be too busy rolling in the aisles, pissing ourselves laughing. It would be brilliant.