It’s been a wee while since we took a peek across the city at the palace of mirth that we know as Ibrox Noise, and I can’t go too long without a laugh out of there. Thankfully, yesterday three different people sent me the same article from them.
It’s about our old friend, The Trailer Park Serial Killer.
Entitled “Kent’s value soars to nearly 20M after Beale becomes Rangers manager” it is every bit as barking and barmy and moon-howling as anything posted on there in a long time, and that’s saying something considering the nature of their usual output.
The article opens with this;
“Ryan Kent’s value has risen, perhaps surprisingly, to around €17M according to well-respected Dutch data site transfermarkt after the addition of new Rangers manager Michael Beale was confirmed and the first press conference completed.”
Right away you can see the holes in this foaming guff, can’t you?
For openers, that number comes to nowhere near £20 million. It is, in fact, when you consider the exchange rate, closer to £14 million.
And the source? For God’s sake, how much longer are people going to pretend that the valuations on Transfermarkt.com are anything but ridiculous?
Nobody believes that he would fetch £14 million or anything remotely like it when you consider three things; his form, his ability and the fact that his contract is about to enter the 6-month period when he can negotiate a new club next season for free.
This stuff is beyond parody. It is surreal.
And yet it continues!
“(With) Beale’s arrival in Govan, all bets are off, and it appears to have influenced Kent’s market value, despite his deal running out in the summer. Is Kent back to being a £15M-£20M winger? Well the hard reset on all things Rangers with Beale coming in is a very valid thing indeed.”
A very valid thing indeed?
Whatever these guys are smoking over there, don’t you really, really wish you had some of it? It would make the days until we play competitive football next pass so much quicker, and easier, if we did.
This might be my favourite part of the piece.
“We know how good Kent is capable of being, and Leeds’ rejected £8M bid 18 months ago has influenced his value as well, because Rangers rejected that when in a weaker financial position than we currently are, the accounts showing the club is in a much better place than it was.”
Good grief, there is so much wrong with that sentence that it’s difficult even knowing where to start, so let’s just call it loony-tunes and leave it at that.
Ibrox Noise Up is always good for a laugh. This is no exception. If that site didn’t exist we’d have to … well maybe not invent it, but we’d have to work a lot harder at finding something funny every day.